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Out of the loop...

There is always a way… As in personal life, so in business life...

Sometimes, we can get so focused on one perspective of something we did and later judged as “a bad move”, that we block the positive sides of the actual deed and the possibility to resolve the unfavourable consequences when they appear.

One man, let’s call him John to protect his privacy, realised he made a mistake by agreeing to something. He felt tricked into the agreement, which later brought him to a decision that he could no longer trust – anyone.

The following days he stopped communicating with the people involved in the problematic agreement, but also with his colleagues, fighting his inner battle alone. His focus was entirely on the imagined consequences, he started believing the work, to which he dedicated many months of his life, now was ruined. His imagination went wild constructing the worst-case scenario. He thought he saw the evidence that each scenario was highly possible: on his way to work, in the office through the words and behaviours of the people around him (even though other people had no idea what was playing in his head), even in the news headlines.

Everything was reminding him of what he defined as that one devastatingly bad business move and his imagination kept collecting (constructing), evidence that seemed to be manifesting and growing around him. His body was tense, his posture changed, the stress started building up.

Some of us sometime idealise the projects we are working on.

The particular idea, we believe, becomes the next best thing in our and everyone else’s reality: we imagine the importance it will have in our life. Sometimes, the more importance we give to it the bigger the possibility it will cost us more than just our “peace of mind” and our health.

When John asked to talk with me about it, the actual scene of the agreement happening was constantly playing in his mind, stuck in a loop and each time creating new levels of fear, self – reproach, guilt, shame and disappointment, not only holding him back but also dragging him deeper into a sense of disempowerment.

Our conversation that followed didn’t change what happened in the past but gave him freedom from the devastating emotional charge.

What happened is still a fact, but now he finally opened for possibilities of what it could mean aside from the worst-case scenario he kept imagining and what could be done to resolve any possible unfavourable consequences.

His mind was finally free to get a different perspective on the event, he could face further communication with the people included in the initial agreement and also he could talk to his colleagues and other professionals about it and decide on the next steps and the next steps and as it often happens, he realised there was something really beneficial in that, previously marked as catastrophic, situation.

The vicious circle was no more.

The troublesome deed became a stepping stone, something he could learn from and grow as a human being and as an entrepreneur and no longer was a devastating force to determine his destiny in the worst possible way.

Seems a little bit too dramatic, doesn’t it? Maybe for some. Some, on the other hand, will recognise the passion of this man, the amount of dedication and energy he is capable of investing in his work and many of today’s inventions came from such level of passion and dedication (when not misused). Many companies started out of the similar energy and passion and kept developing with the emotions under a reasonable control and direction.

This little story may serve to some as yet another gentle reminder how our focus and the meaning we assign to certain events and circumstances can change our experience of reality and how the passion, dedication and mighty imagination that were once a driving force can turn into a devastating one, but then its course can be change to surprising and delightful new experiences.

The gentle reminder goes to some who are just starting or are already running a small business that maybe started as a hobby: your passion is beautiful and creative – use it as such and keep it in check. Sometimes, each of us can be like a child – misusing our imagination to create monsters in the dark and sometimes we need a little help in being reminded we have all necessary within ourselves to reach that switch that turns the lights on.

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